dumbasses

That was awesome Coach. I made a bombay martini once for a guy who was just a little over 21. He tasted it and said "Could you pour more alcohol in this you made it weak." And I said, "It's straight alcohol you DORK!" Well that's not exactly what I said...but my reaction made him think twice.

it always kills me when some dumbass walks up to the bar and says "can we eat at the bar?" i say, well, those people to your left are eating at the bar, and those people to your right are eating at the bar, so i guess you can too. helllooooooo

actual interaction:
Customer- " How much is a pint of cola?"
Me- " How much does it cost?"
Customer- " No. How big is it?"

My favorite is when someone asks 'hey what time do you get off' & I always reply 'I did before I got here!'

Good Morning! I just heard about this site and have enjoyed your stories/comments! Doesn't look like there have been alot of recent postings, hope ya'l are still active, I'm telling all my employees about your site. (sorry, I may be the "enemy" I'm management- boo-hiss!)
I do have a dumbass story. I work for a chain restaurant and had a guest come in and order a Monte Cristo Sandwich, which is not on our menu but on a competitors menu. I informed the guest of this, his response was that he had had the sandwich at our restaurant last week and it was on our menu! (as if I don't know my own menu!)
I thought about it and realized we could make the sandwich, tho we didn't have the raspberry perserves that our competitor served with the Monte Cristo. I told the guest that we could make the sandwich, but didn't have the perserves.
His response...then I don't want the F------ thing! Whatever! See if I try to help you again you asswipe!

Customer:
"my chicken is to juicy, can't you cook a dry chicken! I will complene to the managment"
waitress;
"please do so ASAP"

My favorite is when people ask me what kind of wine I have at my establishment. I proceed to tell them, "Two kinds of CHardonnay, Sutter Home white zin, a merlot and a cabernet."

Their response, " Do you have any Riesling?"

"No, two kinda of chardonnay, a white zin, a merlot and a cabernet is all I have."

"Do you have a Sauvignon Blanc?"

"No, two kinda of Chardonnay, a white zin, a merlot and a cabernet..."

Do you have Gewurtztraminer?"

You get the idea...was I unclear in my explanation of our very limited wine list? Or are they just dumbasses?

So last summer I worked at a lakeside open-air patio bar, grill, and entertainment complex...
The main restaurant would close at 10PM, but you could party and drink on the patio, and eat pizza 'n' wangs from a seperate vendor til like 2-2:30AM.
One night, just as I am going around to all of the remaining seated tables to inform them that the kitchen is closing in 10 minutes and that they could still get dessert in that time if they so wished, a couple of middle-aged patrons walk over and sit themselves down.
I go over and tell them the same thing, and then ask if I can get them anything to drink...
The guy wants a few minutes to check out the dessert menu...
I give them a couple of minutes, return, and they're like "We want two cups of tea, and a slice of cheesecake."
So I head to the kitchen, where they're about to shut up the doors, and quickly place the order; cheesecake is a go, but all hot water and coffee machines had already been washed and turned off for the night. I return to the table with the cheesecake in hand, but inform them that unfortunately there is no more tea available because the kitchen is closing, so could I perhaps bring them a water, juice, or perhaps an alcoholic choice such as a couple of nice B52s to accompany their dessert? The man gets very agitated and says "well can't you just boil some more water?"
Here's how the conversation went on:
me - "no sir, I am sorry but the kitchen staff has cleaned and turned off all of our hot drink machines for the evening"
him - "but I wanted two cups of tea"
me - " I understand sir, but unfortunately I am unable to bring you tea. Could I bring you something else instead?"
him - "I mean, how hard is it to boil water? Can't you just boil some more water?"
(at this point in time, all lights in the kitchen area are turned off and the staff exits the area, locking the door behind them. I gesture to what is going on in the kitchen area of the patio)
me - "You see, sir, the kitchen closes at 10pm and as part of the closing procedures they shut down all machines, including the machine that boils the water. And they lock the kitchen door so I couldn't boil water for you if I wanted to..."
him - "Don't you have any hot water at the bar?"
me - "no sir, we do not have a hot water machine at the bar. Just hot tap water. And they don't carry tea bags at the bar either."
him - "well I can't drink tea with hot tap water, it has to be boiled water."
me - "I'm sorry sir, could I get you someting else to go with your dessert?"
him - "Are you sure you can't get some boiled water for tea?"
me - "Sir, even if I could get boiled water for tea, I couldn't access the tea as the kitchen is now closed for the evening."
him - "Well I can't eat this cheescake if there isn't any tea."
me - "...are you sure there isn't anything else I can get for you? We do have iced tea, as well as orange, apple, cranberry, and pineapple juices..."
him - "no. take this cake back. I can't have cake without tea."
So this person and his female companion get up, and brusquely move towards the patio exit, and he's muttering all the way....
and I'm left standing with a cheesecake in my hand like an ass.

My nice manager didn't make me pay for it, thank goodness, but it's not as if I even got to enjoy the cheesecake in the end...
I'm totally lactose intolerant!!!
Bahhhh!!!

*pixy lee*

People that ask you to exclude things from various items because of their SEVERE food allergy. That's totally messed up because some people really have a hard time avoiding certain food allergies, and these jerks just pretend so that you get their order right. I understand that not everyone likes whatever accompanies the food they order, and i wholeheartedly respect that, because there are foods i cannot stand.

"Please make sure there are no eggs on my salad, I am highly allergic to egg."
"Ma'am, are you sure that it will be safe for you to have ranch dressing on your salad, considering it is mostly made of mayonnaise?"
"Oh yeah that is fine."
"okay."


Anyone may correct me if I am wrong, (I do not have any food allergies that i am aware of) but doesn't that make her a totally untruthful person? I thought that if you were allergic to something...even in small amounts, it may not be the wisest decision to consume it.
If you can correct me, i will be happy because this could be one less thing i get angry about.