I imagine if you were to leave the "industry" you wouldnt encounter any less sexism just different approaches

the owner of my restuarant is a woman. She hosts on friday nights and pissed off customers are always saying to her " Where's the owner, I want to talk to him!" It's great when she says, " you're talking to the owner." People also always say to her, " I know the owner, we are fishing buddies" Shit like that, to get a good table. It's totally ridiculous. Sexism is everywhere. I love to have a female boss though, cause she really understands what it's like.

I've dealt with that a lot as well. If you wanna shut them up, or straighten them out on who you are... tell them to suck your dick! the bewilderment of the comment will never let anyone forget that you are the bartender.. and they better start kissing your ass. If your dealing with sexism.. then bring it!
Turn it around... make them deal with sexism! In the long run.. you will tipped more. In the sense that no matter what.. there is sexism. But once you fuck with their heads.... it's a switch that (hate to say it) they're drunk asses aren't used to.
When asked 'Oh, the bartender, what's his special drink' reply 'Ballz deep, up in ya' .... until they realize what they said.
This may or may not be usefull info. But, you can't let these people get to you. Let them call ya a 'cocktail waitress'... let them call you a 'He' ! Fuck em all... do you really value their process of thinking in the first place?
One more thing... I HATE being called a cocktail waitress! It's matter of pride almost. A cocktail waitress goes 2 the bartender 4 the drinks.. then delivers them. Being a bartender & being called a cocktail waitress in a sense is a demotion. Putting you a couple steps lower then what you are. So I hate that as well. Hope I could help!